Journal Entry 4 / October 11, 2019

I’m calling today a win. This last week I haven’t wanted to do much of anything. I’ve ordered more slices of cheesecake from City Diner than I care to admit to you guys and couldn’t find the motivation to get back to training for my half marathon. Which is in about one week if anyone is keeping track. Even today I woke up sluggish and almost immediately turned on the TV prepared for another unproductive day before I left for work.

I wasn’t even sure I was going to stick to my posting schedule and get this written today but here I am squeezing it in. After a couple cups of coffee and a few episodes of Gilmore Girl’s, I finally got off the couch and ran 4 miles in Central Park. This post will probably be short and I most definitely won’t have time to put on any makeup before I have to leave for work but I made a few promises to myself and I’m trying so hard not to break them. I break a lot of promises to myself. One never seems like that big of a deal and then one turns into 200 little insignificant promises before I know it and I learn very quickly not to trust myself.

So I’m calling today a win.

In other news I’m getting insanely anxious about the holiday season approaching. I am having fantasies of getting my Christmas tree (just try and stop me from overpaying for one at the PlantShed on the UWS so I can drag it home just like Meg Ryan did in When Harry Met Sally). I walked through Bryant Park earlier this week and saw workers starting the construction of the Winter Village and I just about exploded with excitement. The Bryant Park Winter Village is probably my favorite place during the holiday season. The large window displays on 5th and the Rockefeller tree are great but there’s something extra magical about Christmas in Bryant Park.

I have a lot to look forward to in the next couple of weeks with my aunt coming into town for my half marathon and my good friend Karinna flying in a few weeks after that. It’s funny how the perspectives you have on relationships change and evolve so quickly when you move away from home. I know relationships change overtime naturally whether you’re in the same time zone or not, but something different happens to them when you physically remove yourself. It’s hard to explain.

I have a handful of friends from California that I still keep in regular contact with. That contact can mean anything from a passing social media interaction over a funny GIF or old memory to lengthy phone calls catching up on months of lost time. The point being that I’ve been able to see these women with a new lens, one that reaches across the country. One that offers nothing but respect and admiration for the women they have become, the things they have overcome and the fact that I am still worthy of their time and energy and money for plane tickets to visit me. It gets me away from the day to day dramas that goes with the territory of having friends for so long, and lets the time we have together really mean something.

I’ve had friendships feel like so much work for very little in return. Friendships that have been based on pure obligation and sometimes even guilt. The distance has made me focus on what I truly get out of every friendship I’ve held on to throughout my life. It is so easy to have friends that are only in your life out of convenience or obligation or pure comfort. For me, moving away has shed light on the women I know who are truly worth the effort and who give it back in return.

Not sure how I got off on a rant about that but I’ll move on if you’re still with me. There’s not a whole lot else going on in my life at the moment but that’s mostly because this week has been overcast and gloomy with a little rain and I’ve pretty much only left the house for work. Having a quiet week was probably for the best considering all I have coming up – starting with brunch tomorrow morning at mine and Ryan’s usual spot and enjoying my Saturday off with him. Making sure I have one day off a week to spend with him is something I consider sacred and wouldn’t give up for anything.

I hope everyone who isn’t going to work tonight enjoys their Friday night. I’ll be back again next week with two more posts and hopefully a little more exciting journal entry. Until then…

Love, Krystal